To Nothing?


 
Sitting on the floor of my school bathroom, crying profusely, I whispered the words 'Mom'. But Mom was not there. I sat and just let my body connect with the pain that was buried deep inside me. This so called pain that made me leave my class and hurry myself to drain out and hide my feelings from others is still a mystery to me as well. I sat there motionless trying to get hold of myself and blackening out the reality. I still was unable to destroy my reflex action.
We live in a society where everyone succumbs to the same education system, same worries, same doubts, same matter, same air and overall same everything.
SAME SAME SAME.
How is it possible for a 15 year older to solve the continuous process of "x" and "y" equations and still hold loss? This narrow-minded path or mentality utterly disturbs my mindset. At that moment all I felt I needed an embrace or "don't worry you aren't the only one" talk, but I didn't need either. I  was fearless. I knew exactly how to deal with the following issue. If pain demands to be felt, Why did my pain interfere with me feeling the pain? We are scared and worried that "maybe" someone out there, is doing what  I  can do or rather someone is potentially better than me. But if we keep scrutinizing our everyday verbal salad, we realize that we are the ones stopping ourselves from doing what is not done yet. Time in no way heals pain but allows one to completely lose the ability to show remembrance to it . One may ask, why did I cry, show my pain? Why not?  Being real includes dealing with and dissecting every emotion wisely to its root. Emotion is such a broad genre and it is the entire circle of emotions that oval our life out. Everyone's out there, existing and trying to find the true path through the chains of escape, but what one ought to know is that going through these phases doesn't allow oneself to actually experience the enlightenment of the process. Tied up with homework, examination pressure, peer pressure, hobbies, entertainment, at chores one a constant struggle trying to paint out the picture of one's true meaning and existence. So it is perfectly fine with letting out the pain you have buried trying to cope up with the outer existence of this pressurized world.
So are you scared to face the reality or are you forced not to let out your feelings? 
Why should you be scared to see how nothing you are before you understand how much you can be?
Welcome to the real world...